gentle songs for a quiet night

“Can’t honeymoon forever de mah… if no more honey, add it yourself…”

To be honest, I have kind of lost sight of what I really want. I guess right now I just want to lead a quiet, simple and meaningful life. No more fluctuations in mood, no more day-to-day drama, I just want to do happy things and be happy.

28 days to homecoming. Time really somehow flies in uni, even if you aren’t aware of it. No matter what I’ll still be looking forward to going home.

from the coquelicot hill

I would just like to say, thank you for putting faith into this again. 🙂 I learnt the hard way the importance of dedicating my effort to where it is needed the most… so from now on I’ll be careful. Let’s make this work k? 🙂

Making plans for a great day tomorrow! (or later today hahah depends on how you look at it.) I want to go to the National Army Museum, see the Prime Meridian at the Royal Observatory, going shopping at High Street / Oxford Street, then chill out at a cafe for lunch. Just a simple day, alone but not lonely. 🙂

two-sided

Good and bad news. I shall start with good news in contrary to common practice.

Good news is, I passed my first formal test in uni.

Bad news is, something bad has happened. Something really, really bad. And I don’t know what to do about it. As of now I’m resorting to some really extreme measures but I’m not sure if that will work. 

a quick post before sleeping

So tomorrow is my first (formal) test in uni. I’m quite sure I studied enough, but I’m having the annoying and unnerving feeling that I hadn’t actually studied. No matter I’ll just give my best tomorrow and hope that things are in my favour.

Was studying my A level math notes to prepare for the test. Sometimes I realise that the main reason for why I’m still surviving for math now is that most of the content we’re learning, I had learnt before. Imagine if I had only covered the basic commutative and associative laws, and suddenly someone throws vector product + line and plane geometry at me and expect me to know everything within a week. (I took months to learn vectors back in JC!) So I’m thankful, but also fearful – for the many challenges that may arise when I actually start learning new stuff.

And, reading the notes reminds me of my JC days, the days spent mastering everything in the notes I read today. I seriously wonder how I had managed to cram everything in the A level syllabuses into my head – I mean, math was not exactly brain space consuming, wait till you see chem and econs. 😛 How did I manage to learn everything so quickly, and how exactly did I progress from merely passing to getting As for the A levels? I want to find that drive back, to motivate me to study beyond what I’m covering at this pace.

Reading my JC notes also led me to miss my JC life even more. 😦

Ah well, emotions aside. Jiayou for tomorrow! 🙂 First formal assessment in uni, let’s make it a good one.

those rare blue sky days

So while slacking in the school com lab I decide to blog a little bit. These few days have been rather normal, nothing much going on. But I did finally travel out of London (to Nottingham) and take loads of photos of nice scenery. And I started work for IC Drama; I don’t like the feeling of being bossed around, but I’m still a rookie so there’s nothing much I can do about this anyway. So all I can do is to do my best, build the sets and do what I’m supposed to till the end of this assignment. After all, I do hope for a successful drama production as well. But the experience I get from drama here is very different from the drama experience I had, and tbh I don’t think I’m suited for this kind of atmosphere.

I guess now I’m entering the stage in uni life when I really need to make tough decisions and rank my priorities very clearly. What exactly do I treasure in my first year here? Is it new personal experiences? Or is it the kind of interpersonal bonds I’m going to establish? How much would I sacrifice to preserve my social network, and how am I going to maintain my bonds with my loved ones back at home while doing all these?

All these call for confidence and a clear hierarchy of choices. But as of now, I’m not confident that I can make the right choices all the time. For now I’m just going step by step and doing what I think is right, while simultaneously praying that I’ll do well for the math test this Friday. (80% pass mark!!)

On another note, I’ve been getting thirsty and going to the toilet more frequently than usual. I know this calls for attention, but so far all the urine tests I’ve taken show that I’m still fine. What’s wrong with me then? Maybe I should just stay away from coffee for a few days and see what happens. Also, this Sunday is Remembrance Day and there’s a remembrance poppy appeal going around. I’ll probably be buying one of those poppy flower pins to support the cause, and also to remind myself who I really am.